Friday, May 18

Bellingham: Tyrell

Tyrell Johnson
Physical Specimen

"People are always saying he's deceptively quick, deceptively athletic, and I don't know if that's just because I'm Asian or what it is, but obviously there's going to be stereotypes that you have to fight." - Jeremy Lin

People undersell professional basketball player Jeremy Lins athleticism because of his race. Coincidentally, people undersell Tyrell's athleticism because he has the voice of an angel, the striking looks of a Gap Young Adults model and the comedic timing of someone who is funny because of their comedic timing. Make no mistake, Tyrell is athletic. He sprints like a graceful gazelle being chased by a ravenous mountain lion, jumps like a kangaroo out for his daily pounce-about, and throws objects of much mass and weight distances only steroid abusing meatheads achieve. And he does all this with the beard of a wise old man. The Olympics called and said "show us why Tyrell should be invited to London". Good luck turning this down, Olympics.


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